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speak friend and enter
суббота, апреля 30, 2005
More Neurotic Rantings
Its been an interesting week altogether.
I've sorta started work as an engineer.
I've been thinking about purpose, significance and success
Vision, hopes and dreams.
Choices
This week was marked by a particularly concentrated onslaught of good-natured questions ("whatever happened to music school?"), watching great musician friends in concert, invitations to various music projects, talking to my old professors and old friends* and also, the tedium of adjusting to work life. Precipitates quite abit of thinking, especially when commuting takes some time.
Been pondering the notion of 'packing' up one's dreams away for a bit while we slog it out in the world to earn money, coming back sometime later and unpacking the dream and getting on with it. Not quite sure about the veracity of that notion. From what I've observed, after working for some time, people don't exactly get back to their dreams. It remains safely tucked away, buried and hidden. Sometimes one would think about it, but somehow they never quite get around to opening it again. Along the way, the busyness of work, the draw of more finances and what comes with it (increased spending power etc) sorta suck one into its rhythm: mindless, boggling, and seemingly inescapable. Occassionally we'd treat ourselves to a retreat, a holiday, to recharge, and then pounce right back into the insane cycle of work. Sometimes, through some incredible motivation, the box of dreams is actually retrieved (if found), and opened. However, observation says that after working for an extended time (with increased expectations to 'settle' or the draw of success or the monster of 'never-enough'), the very act of earning money changes your heart and your values. The "who" you were when you bore the initial dream is no longer the "who" you are right now, calloused and hardened by the act of earning money. Calling it 'maturity' or 'age', you turn in disgust at the 'immaturity' and 'simplicity' of your former plans. How's that for self-betrayal?
Dunno. I guess I'm sorta worrying over a non-issue. I know where I am right now is the place God wants me to be. The looming question, however, is for how long, and where next. How will I know what I should be preparing for? Create in me a holy desperation for You- won't You show me the way!
*Appendix:
JM says:
well, i know the big picture purposes
JM says:
but how, why and when
Po boi sandwich says:
well.. some call it significance.. some call it trying to find meaning .. some trying to live up to expectations both old and new...
JM says:
how is significance different fr success?
Po boi sandwich says:
they are both relative
JM says:
eh?s
Po boi sandwich says:
like the elf in santa's grotto sees his job of packing presents are very impt to gettin em to the kids on christmas
Po boi sandwich says:
or santa can say.. i'll fire him and hire a gremlin
JM says:
haha
Po boi sandwich says:
so where does the elf find meaning in being an elf?
JM says:
your point?
Po boi sandwich says:
or what he does at santa's grotto? sweeping the floor? feeding the reindeers?
Po boi sandwich says:
all of which are key to santa getting the presents to the kids
Po boi sandwich says:
of course.. the elf prefers to sit in the AC room wrapping presents
JM says:
mmm
JM says:
you don;t need much AC in the north pole
Po boi sandwich says:
that's true
Po boi sandwich says:
oh.. he moved to taihiti by the way..
JM says:
woo
Po boi sandwich says:
santa's deciding to make singapore his SE Asia hub.. its center for operations
JM says:
hahaha... getting a tan
JM says:
his reindeer will need special AC stables
JM says:
as well as health certification fr the AVA
JM says:
and HACCP profiles
Po boi sandwich says:
with cheaper elves and a more technological advanced infrastructure.. the nite safari is a bonus
JM says:
mmm
JM says:
thats true
JM says:
and since spore houses don't have chimneys
Po boi sandwich says:
and all the free trade agreements to get all the airspace
JM says:
no wonder
JM says:
he should just outsource
Po boi sandwich says:
he lets the elves in each constituent do the dirty job of delivering presents up the garbage chute
JM says:
haha
Po boi sandwich says:
ya.. he's getting bangla elves
JM says:
smelly presents
JM says:
oops.. ahha.. thats; referring to garbage chute
Po boi sandwich says:
MOM is quite worried abt worker benefits and safety though.. it has been reported that santa lets his elves sleep on the job
Po boi sandwich says:
hahahah.. wah.. racist sial
JM says:
lol
JM says:
MOM is taking a long time to issue employment passes! they'd better hurry or it;ll be christmas!
Po boi sandwich says:
ya.. else he'll have to resort to illegal workers
JM says:
mmm
Po boi sandwich says:
or get the hobbits from new zealand.. and introduce em as foreign talent... as long they are caucasian hobbits
JM says:
hahahah
JM says:
i can be asian hobbit
Po boi sandwich says:
well my fren... maybe significance is not the issue.. maybe it's the way u think or your fears abt work and how it might take your dream/vision away...
Its been an interesting week altogether.
I've sorta started work as an engineer.
I've been thinking about purpose, significance and success
Vision, hopes and dreams.
Choices
This week was marked by a particularly concentrated onslaught of good-natured questions ("whatever happened to music school?"), watching great musician friends in concert, invitations to various music projects, talking to my old professors and old friends* and also, the tedium of adjusting to work life. Precipitates quite abit of thinking, especially when commuting takes some time.
Been pondering the notion of 'packing' up one's dreams away for a bit while we slog it out in the world to earn money, coming back sometime later and unpacking the dream and getting on with it. Not quite sure about the veracity of that notion. From what I've observed, after working for some time, people don't exactly get back to their dreams. It remains safely tucked away, buried and hidden. Sometimes one would think about it, but somehow they never quite get around to opening it again. Along the way, the busyness of work, the draw of more finances and what comes with it (increased spending power etc) sorta suck one into its rhythm: mindless, boggling, and seemingly inescapable. Occassionally we'd treat ourselves to a retreat, a holiday, to recharge, and then pounce right back into the insane cycle of work. Sometimes, through some incredible motivation, the box of dreams is actually retrieved (if found), and opened. However, observation says that after working for an extended time (with increased expectations to 'settle' or the draw of success or the monster of 'never-enough'), the very act of earning money changes your heart and your values. The "who" you were when you bore the initial dream is no longer the "who" you are right now, calloused and hardened by the act of earning money. Calling it 'maturity' or 'age', you turn in disgust at the 'immaturity' and 'simplicity' of your former plans. How's that for self-betrayal?
Dunno. I guess I'm sorta worrying over a non-issue. I know where I am right now is the place God wants me to be. The looming question, however, is for how long, and where next. How will I know what I should be preparing for? Create in me a holy desperation for You- won't You show me the way!
*Appendix:
JM says:
well, i know the big picture purposes
JM says:
but how, why and when
Po boi sandwich says:
well.. some call it significance.. some call it trying to find meaning .. some trying to live up to expectations both old and new...
JM says:
how is significance different fr success?
Po boi sandwich says:
they are both relative
JM says:
eh?s
Po boi sandwich says:
like the elf in santa's grotto sees his job of packing presents are very impt to gettin em to the kids on christmas
Po boi sandwich says:
or santa can say.. i'll fire him and hire a gremlin
JM says:
haha
Po boi sandwich says:
so where does the elf find meaning in being an elf?
JM says:
your point?
Po boi sandwich says:
or what he does at santa's grotto? sweeping the floor? feeding the reindeers?
Po boi sandwich says:
all of which are key to santa getting the presents to the kids
Po boi sandwich says:
of course.. the elf prefers to sit in the AC room wrapping presents
JM says:
mmm
JM says:
you don;t need much AC in the north pole
Po boi sandwich says:
that's true
Po boi sandwich says:
oh.. he moved to taihiti by the way..
JM says:
woo
Po boi sandwich says:
santa's deciding to make singapore his SE Asia hub.. its center for operations
JM says:
hahaha... getting a tan
JM says:
his reindeer will need special AC stables
JM says:
as well as health certification fr the AVA
JM says:
and HACCP profiles
Po boi sandwich says:
with cheaper elves and a more technological advanced infrastructure.. the nite safari is a bonus
JM says:
mmm
JM says:
thats true
JM says:
and since spore houses don't have chimneys
Po boi sandwich says:
and all the free trade agreements to get all the airspace
JM says:
no wonder
JM says:
he should just outsource
Po boi sandwich says:
he lets the elves in each constituent do the dirty job of delivering presents up the garbage chute
JM says:
haha
Po boi sandwich says:
ya.. he's getting bangla elves
JM says:
smelly presents
JM says:
oops.. ahha.. thats; referring to garbage chute
Po boi sandwich says:
MOM is quite worried abt worker benefits and safety though.. it has been reported that santa lets his elves sleep on the job
Po boi sandwich says:
hahahah.. wah.. racist sial
JM says:
lol
JM says:
MOM is taking a long time to issue employment passes! they'd better hurry or it;ll be christmas!
Po boi sandwich says:
ya.. else he'll have to resort to illegal workers
JM says:
mmm
Po boi sandwich says:
or get the hobbits from new zealand.. and introduce em as foreign talent... as long they are caucasian hobbits
JM says:
hahahah
JM says:
i can be asian hobbit
Po boi sandwich says:
well my fren... maybe significance is not the issue.. maybe it's the way u think or your fears abt work and how it might take your dream/vision away...
