pedo mellon a minno

well into May already
warning: this entry is really just mad ranting

time flies, while I crawl
I seem like laying tracks for an oncoming train
will it run me over
or will I lay it all in time?

seem to have done most of my work
now just sorting them out
time-space seems warped
regular intervals of light and dark
people and solitude
anxiety and solace

mentally checking off loose ends
scratching out to-do lists
final verifications
rechecking resources
meeting people
getting hold of potassium dichromate
after finding out nital etches don't work
and picric acid is way too cool-
it actually explodes if its too dry
with slightly more explosive power than tnt
and it stains my skin a sickly yellow

longing for big open spaces for my soul to run free
tall skies, broad steppes, hidden mountain valleys
brooding misty mountain lakes
I'm talking about the tien-shan ranges, the rockies, the alps
and milford sound
the charyn depression and the south australian salt flats
where wind bites and the cold sings
your heart warms to a friend or kin
and you indulge yourself silly with ice-cream where it won't melt
because its winter there
or the still, stifling humidity of a warm virginia forest night in summer
where the crickets sing and you hear a train rumble in the distance
and its not your tummy

or simply to sit on the roof top of E2 in engin
staring off into the scarlet sunset
that has just started playing itself out in the heavens
to spend the night up there with friends and tealights
tea and songs and jokes

its odd, giving oneself work to do
deadlines to die by
readings to read
listenings to listen
writings to write
self-imposed isolation
check-lists to check, uncheck and recheck

But hope that is seen is no hope at all.
Who hopes for what he already has?
But if we hope for what we do not yet have,
we wait for it patiently
(romans 8:24b-25)

Be joyful in hope
patient in affliction
faithful in prayer
(romans 12:12)

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